50 Funny Voicemail Greetings to Make Callers Laugh (And Maybe Leave a Message)

Let’s face it—most voicemail greetings are forgettable. But a funny one? That makes people laugh, pause, and maybe even smile while leaving a message. Whether you’re quirky, dry, theatrical, or just tired of sounding boring, here are 50 funny voicemail greetings you can use to inject personality into your phone presence.

Classic Funny Voicemail Greetings

1. “Hi! You’ve reached me. I’m just pretending to be busy. Leave a message and I’ll call when I feel like it.”
2. “You’ve reached [Your Name]’s voicemail. I’m not ignoring you—I’m just really, really good at it.”
3. “Hey, I’m talking to my plants right now. They need me more than you do. Leave a message.”
4. “This is a voicemail. Not a pizza place. Please don’t order a large pepperoni.”
5. “Sorry, I missed your call. I was busy inventing a way to answer phones telepathically.”

Sarcastic and Dry Humor Voicemails

6. “I’m either away from the phone or avoiding someone I don’t want to talk to. Guess which one you are.”
7. “If this is urgent, hang up and scream into a pillow. It won’t help, but it’s therapeutic.”
8. “If you’re calling about my car’s extended warranty, congratulations! You’re the 9,000th caller today.”
9. “Hi. I’m not here. You’re not here. This whole thing is imaginary. Leave a message anyway.”
10. “Your call is important to me. That’s what people say when it’s not. Leave a message.”

Absurd and Random Humor Voicemails

11. “You’ve reached the interdimensional hotline. If you’re calling from Earth, press 1. Otherwise, just leave a message.”
12. “Hi. You’ve reached the voicemail of a wizard trapped in a smartphone. Leave your wish.”
13. “I’m currently training squirrels to do yoga. Leave your message after their final stretch.”
14. “If this is a dream, I’m sorry. If it’s real life, I’m still sorry. Beep!”
15. “This voicemail has been replaced by a dramatic reading of whale sounds. Please leave a message.”

Themed or Character-Style Greetings

16. “You’ve reached Batman. I’m out fighting crime—or grocery shopping. Leave a message for the Batcave.”
17. “Yoda, I am not. Message, you must leave. Back, I will call.”
18. “Welcome to Hogwarts School of Voicemail and Wizardry. If you’re a Muggle, leave a message and wait for the owl.”
19. “This is not the voicemail you’re looking for. (Use Jedi voice.) Leave your message anyway.”
20. “Hi! This is [Your Name]. I’m busy being the main character. Leave a message for the sequel.”

Witty but Professional Voicemails

21. “Hello! You’ve reached the voicemail of a responsible adult—temporarily unavailable. Leave a message.”
22. “Hi, this is [Your Name]. I may be busy, but not too busy to return a thoughtful voicemail. Try me.”
23. “Sorry I missed you! If this is about work, I’m very serious. If this is about fun, I’m even more serious.”
24. “You’ve reached [Your Name]. I’m either in a meeting or pretending to be. Either way, I’ll call you back.”
25. “Hey there, thanks for calling. I’m not here, but I’m probably thinking about being here. Leave a message.”

Musical or Rhyming Greetings

26. “You’ve reached my phone, but I’m not home. Don’t be shy, just leave a tone.”
27. “Roses are red, my ringer is off. Leave your message, or I’ll pretend to scoff.”
28. “I could sing you a jingle, or make this rhyme. But just leave a message—it’ll save us time.”
29. “If you like leaving messages and getting replies, then baby, this is the voicemail for you.”
30. “Don’t hang up, don’t lose hope—leave a message after the beep-a-rope.”

Short and Silly One-Liners

31. “You talk. I listen—later. Leave it!”
32. “BEEP! That wasn’t the beep. Just kidding. Wait for it.”
33. “The line you’re calling is currently rolling its eyes. Leave a message.”
34. “This is the voicemail. It’s cooler than I am. Talk to it.”
35. “I’m busy being fabulous. Leave your pitch after the beep.”

TV and Pop Culture References

36. “Winter is calling… and so are you. But I’m not answering. Leave a message, brave warrior.”
37. “Beam me up, Scotty! Oh wait, it’s just you. Leave a message.”
38. “This is the voicemail of the Office of Strategic Awesomeness. You’ve reached the top agent. Speak your mission.”
39. “You’ve reached The Voice… of my voicemail. Press ‘beep’ to audition.”
40. “Like a Stranger Things episode, I’m currently in the Upside Down. Leave your voice in this dimension.”

Prank-Style Voicemail Greetings

41. “Hello?… (long pause)… Just kidding, it’s voicemail. Gotcha. Now leave a message.”
42. “Please hold while I transfer you to someone who cares… just kidding, it’s me. Leave a message.”
43. “You have reached the Confused Chicken Hotline. Cluck once for ‘yes,’ twice for ‘voicemail.’”
44. “If you can guess the secret code word, I might call you back. Hint: it’s ‘voicemail.’”
45. “To leave a message, speak clearly. To confuse me, speak in Klingon.”

Animal-Themed and Wholesome Greetings

46. “Hi! I’m probably petting a cat or pretending to be one. Leave a message with a purr.”
47. “This is [Your Name]’s phone. If you’re a dog, bark twice. If you’re not, leave a message.”
48. “Sorry I missed you—I was watching a squirrel do yoga. Leave a message and I’ll call you back.”
49. “I’m not here. But somewhere, a penguin is dancing. That’s comforting. Leave a message.”
50. “Quack. Oink. Moo. I speak fluent voicemail. Go ahead.”

Final Thoughts

A funny voicemail greeting can do more than entertain—it can showcase your personality, lighten someone’s day, or just make you smile when you re-listen later. Choose one that suits your vibe, or rotate between a few favorites. Whatever you do, make sure the message tone fits your life… even if it’s just to say, “I’m not here, but I’m fabulous.”